How to wrangle the ‘screen time stallion’ and get it back in the barn...
As thoughts loom of coming out of the pandemic and adjusting back into life with school and social activities, many parents are bracing themselves for the wall they are about to hit. They’re asking themselves, “How the hell are we going to get our kids off this 18-hour-a-day screen time free-for-all? Where do we begin setting up the structure that once existed?”
Here are just a few questions to help you and your partner or co-parent rein in the all-access pass and create some structure again with screens at home...
Start with answering these questions together, and once you're on the same page, call a family meeting and let the kids know the new screen time terms you’re constructing and when they'll start. Give your kids a chance to ask a lot of questions. Lastly, parents, brace yourselves for a couple of weeks of major headwinds and pushback. Putting these boundaries back in place means taking a fairly significant pacifier out of your kids’ mouth. The adjustment back to life without constant screens will not be without tantrums. Resolve to hold your ground and double down together during the stressful transition from unbounded screen-time to a structured and predictable set of expectations that will ultimately help your kids re-engage with life.
How much screen time will be acceptable on school nights (Monday-Thursday)?
What is your kid’s screen time allowance going to be on the weekends (Friday-Sunday)? Can they spend it any way they want (all at once or are you wanting to give them a certain amount of time to watch a screen each day)?
On the weekends, will you let them get their screen time allotment out of the way early in the day so endless negotiating about it doesn’t take over the day?
What 1-4 “must-do” tasks need to be completed before using a screen for pleasure during the week? What about the weekends? (i.e. homework, chores, brush teeth, make bed)
What will the consequence be for using screens outside of our agreements? To keep things simple, you might just tie the next day’s screen time to whether your kid minds the boundaries around today’s screen time access. So for instance, if your child decides to watch the screen or play the game for longer than you agreed on a school night, or starts their screen time before their homework is done, and this is against the explicitly stated agreement, then they would lose access to all screens (for pleasure) the following day. In an instance like this, you would willingly and gladly hand back the privileges for screen time after a day without screens for pleasure, reinforcing the boundaries when it's time to start again. This is an important boundary, an important consequence, one – if hold in place – will cause the screen time shenanigans to melt away.