The LAB Method is a HOW model of parenting. We teach the how of:
Communicating so kids listen and feel deeply heard and accepted by parents, rather than controlled and criticized.
Creating lasting bonds and safe connections between parents and kids and letting go of the tactics that create distrust and distance.
Setting peaceful, clear limits and boundaries that parents can hold without yelling, bribing or losing their cool.
Preserving partnerships, relationships with the self, and with co-parents (if you are a two parent household).
What Does L.A.B. Stand For?
LANGUAGE
I started my parent journey fearful, reactive and resorting to control a lot of the time, especially in moments of non-compliance. I was all tooled up with phrases like, “Jeez, why can’t you just do what I ask?” and “Why is everything a battle?” and “Come on! You are wasting everybody’s time with your tantrum.” I was changing the air with my commentary, sarcasm and reactivity. When the disconnection between me and my kids began growing as a result of my communication style, I knew I needed some help with how to talk to my kids more constructively and safely. I created a new way of relating and speaking to my kids through the use of scripts and phrases that changed how I felt towards them and how they responded to me. Learning how to be a straight-talker without using control or manipulation tactics greatly increased the emotional safety between us.
ATTACHMENT
I knew that my ability to connect with my kids would create a lasting blueprint for who they would become as adults, but it was so hard to get myself to slow down, put down my addiction to being busy, and really get present.
I knew that accepting my kids for who they are rather than trying to shape them into the children I thought they should be, was the “right” thing to do but I needed help with how to do it.
I wanted to be a parent who could communicate about difficult topics, work through conflicts without degrading anyone, and own my mistakes (rather than sweep them under the rug) but I had no blueprint for this. Thousands of experiments later, I know exactly how to do this kind of relating and I want to share the HOW of it with you too.
BOUNDARIES
Kids flourish, develop optimally, and succeed in the world when boundaries are clear and well-communicated. In order for relationships to thrive and for kids to show up as their best selves, they need to understand the boundaries and trust that someone will calmly hold them in place. We teach the “how” of setting and holding relationship boundaries, emotional boundaries and physical boundaries in order to create respectful interactions that feel good for the leader and safe for the follower.